This article is a free giveaway snippet of the upcoming self-help book How To Save Yourself From Yourself; Stop being manipulated by society; Discover your true purpose and live your dream life. Please take note the official book cover has changed. But you can still appreciate the book trailer at the link made available to you.
So the subject of discussion is something we all have been dealing with ever since we started understanding the world around us. It takes different forms as we grow to adulthood and often holds us back in life.
According to Dr Vincent Berger, rejection and the fear of being rejected, ranks among the most potent and distressing of every day events that people experience.
In his article posted on PsychologyAnywhereAnytime.com in 2005, he states: “Emotional rejection is the feeling a person experiences when disappointed about not achieving something desired. It is commonly experienced in a quest of emotional relations, such as among romantic couples, in social and group settings, or in the professional world in relation to advancement.
Rejection by a loved one, a romantic relationship, ostracism, stigmatization, job termination, and other kinds of rejections have the power to compromise the quality of a person’s life. As a result, people are highly motivated to avoid social rejection, and, indeed, much of human behavior appears to be designed to avoid such experiences.
The act of rejection can make the person experiencing it undergo a sudden drop in positive emotion. This is displayed as something ranging from a vague disappointment, sadness, and depression, to anxiety, phobic behavior, or even stalking or forcibly abducting the rejecting person.
When an act of physical violence is thrust upon a person, the first reaction is to protect yourself. The hands go up and cover the face or vital areas; the upper body leans away in order to retreat from the pain that is being inflected. It is almost as if there is a force pulling the body away from the impending danger.
When we are hurt emotionally the same reaction occurs internally; our mental and emotional states are looking to move away from the hurtful person or situation, just as a person under attack. These are responses of defense and the subconscious mind does not differentiate between physical and emotional pain, as both can hurt us. If someone insults you or behaves in a way that violates your personal emotional boundaries, the feeling of hurt may be appropriate. When we experience enough situations of hurt, we feel we have to protect our self from further hurt. This is neither wrong or right, it is a matter of whether the response suites your needs.
The desire for acceptance, the opposite of rejection, is a driving force that keeps many people from being an authentic human being. They are so driven by the need for acceptance of others that they lose their own identity in the process. They mimic the ways in which others act, dress, talk, think, believe, and function. Acceptance is the underlying process in the power of peer pressure and is what causes young people and older people alike to fixate on pop-culture, counter culture, punk, new wave, preppie, yuppie, and other styles. They crave recognition and acceptance from the reference group with whom they want to be identified.
People who operate out of a fear of rejection often display little or no assertiveness; they do not speak up and let others know how they feel about something, especially if their opinions differ. They lack the courage to function differently from others, even when they don’t enjoy the behavior in which they are involved. They will often keep their personal feelings hidden from others and too often from themselves.
For too many people the fear of rejection and the desire for acceptance are the main motivating forces for all actions in their lives. It plays a part in their choices concerning their education, career direction, work behavior, achievement level, interpersonal and marital relationships, family and community life, and the ways in which they spend leisure time. The person who operates out of a fear of rejection all too often ends up pushing away the very friends, family, and helpers who care the most. The pulling away of these caring ones appears to be rejection, and the vicious cycle goes on with negative results.“
Following your dreams and breaking free from social boundaries can be hard. Especially when your fears block your drive. However letting go of your fears is the only way to success.
Here are 3 Quick Ways To Overcome Fear Of Rejection On Your Journey.
1. Let go of what you think you have
Often times, people are afraid to take action and follow their true purpose because they look at what they have to give up instead of looking at what they have to gain. Whoever is in your life right now and loves you unconditionally will support your journey once you make them realize you are willing to do everything it takes to achieve your goals.
Whoever is leaving you isn’t worth your energy and whatever you think you may loose by following your own path is the sacrifice to gain something much more bigger. Those things that you have or those people that you are calling friends may be blocking you from becoming a greater version of yourself.
If that is the case, ask yourself, what do I have to loose really? Then move on.
2. Trust and believe
If it does not feel good, it is probably not. If it feels right, it’s probably right. Trust your capabilities of taking the perfect decisions for yourself. Believe in the power of choice. Believe in the power of consciousness. Have faith in the Universe. Have faith that Mother Nature knows what’s best for you. Don’t worry about the “how”. Take action and let the Universe handle the details.
3. Embrace Embarrassment
The greatest people of this world are those brave enough to follow their path sometimes with a sense of embarrassment. You have to be willing to learn from your mistakes and not let ridicule take over your dreams. Take pride in being different. Yes, some people will make fun of you. But it is part of the game. It is a test. Every obstacle and embarrassment on your journey is a test. Ask yourself, how bad do I want this? Do I want this enough to make a fool out of myself? And if your ego is stronger, just go home.