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How Social Anxiety Affects Your Decisions

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Social anxiety will ruin your life, if you can’t get over it. Find the triggers, then get over it.

I feel like sharing a bit more about myself in this post.

If you want to get to know me a bit more read my other posts where  I share personal stuff here and here.

Alright, with that being said, deep subject ahead. Please bare with me.

I had have social anxiety ever since I started being self-conscious about the way that I look. It all started when I was 14, in high school. Some kids from Art class made fun of me because I had a mustache and a bit more hair on the chin than the other girls, because I hit puberty before everyone else did. Puberty hit me very hard on the nail… However, looking back at my situation, I wasn’t that hairy. But maybe I was a bit too much according to a white hairless teenage boy. I think if I would of waited and used proper skin care, my skin wouldn’t look the way it does today. I have discolored pigmentation caused by excessive used of hair removal products which created very dark scars. Being self-conscious about my scars gave me social anxiety. I started being scared to appear in public… but I have always tried to push myself out there and try as much as I could, even if I was often made fun of or starred at. Some days I couldn’t get up to go to work which led me to loose several jobs. I couldn’t connect with my coworkers because I could never stand the stares. I hated most of my jobs anyways, so it’s not really a loss.

Even people I have dated in the past made harmful comments about my scars or ridiculed me publicly to later deny their actions. That was the worst. I was never able to be myself in a relationship because I hated myself so bad for not being flawlessly pretty like the girls we see on the magazine covers.

Little need to say, society plays a major key in our self-confidence. The way we feel is often based on social approval. However, having grown so much the past couple years, I realize it’s all about the stories we tell ourselves.


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For so long I have wondered why was I dealt the cards I was dealt with? It took me a long time to figure it out. But, looking back, social anxiety saved me from dead-end jobs, friendships and relationships. It helped me discover my self worth and reconnect with my passion that I had forgotten for so long.

However, as time goes, I’m realizing I can no longer based my decisions on social factors or it will ruin my life. I can no longer avoid going at the grocery store and spend a day or two without eating. That’s how bad self-conscious I felt some days, to the point of not going out to get food to feed myself. Out in the sun is when I feel most concerned that my ugly scars are revealing themselves in bright day light and giving away what I spend so much time trying to hide from the naked eye.

But social anxiety has done more good than bad when it comes to me, because It never paralyzed me to the point I would not try to change my situation, even if sometimes it got overwhelming. And I think that’s the exact reasons why It would get overwhelming. Because I have always forced myself to put myself out there. Forcing myself to get a normal life made me realize that as an introvert, I shouldn’t always force myself to be out there, because it drains my energy pretty quick. But the subject of being an introvert is for another post.

If you have social anxiety and take medication, you need to realize your feelings are not yours. I always knew that my triggers for my social anxiety could be overcome, reason why I never believed in taking medication. It’s not real. It’s in your head. Society has ingrained us with fear and self-doubt.  If you can find the triggers to why you are scared to go out in public, you are half-way through getting over your social anxiety. You do not need pills. Little you know, those pills could be placebos. If those pills were really working, the pharmaceutic industry wouldn’t make any money. It’s a national scam that works because of the programmed belief system. Many places in regions like Peru, India or Africa do not believe in mental illnesses for that matter. They just let people live. They know that society is the illness. But in the western world we believe it is us. They’ve done a great job at blaming and shaming us. It is not you nor me. The society brainwashes us.

The reason why you think your pills work is because you give those pills healing powers when in fact, that healing power comes from within yourself. In other words, It is because you believe that pills can cure and help you that it works. If you didn’t believe it could, you would find yourself asking your doctor to switch brand. And of course they will tell you that you need them. Or maybe it has already happened?

That’s how they do it. How would they make money if they told you it was all in your head and that you can self-heal? You pay their bills and their hundred dollars toilet paper. Obviously, they would loose a lot by telling you the cure…

Bottom line, your mind can self-heal.

Love is the cure.


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Self-love is what will guide and save you from self-destruction.

Social anxiety affects your decisions in such a way that you become bias and fearful.Living a life in fear will destroy your soul.

I’ve been living in fear and self-doubt for nearly 10 years. But ever since I started meditating and reconnect with my higher-self few years ago, things have gotten so much better. I got over the fear of getting ridiculed and went to see a dermatologist who made me feel very good about myself.

Needless to say, it took me a lot of courage.

It would of never happened if I wouldn’t have kicked myself in the butt. But being a go-getter is part of my personality and it has always been.  I don’t know about you. I have always found ways around my social anxiety so that I could advance in life, taking baby steps. And it’s okay that some days you wont like getting out. Everybody has days where they want to stay in and don’t feel like doing anything. However, you must not let that paralyze you and keep you from becoming your greater self.

If you have social anxiety, use it at your advantage to discover yourself. Slowly identify the triggers to your fear. It may be physical like me or strictly mental. Identifying the roots will allow you to grow a working solution for yourself. Do it for you. Do it because you deserve and are worthy of a better life. You are worthy of wealth and health. You are worthy of love and compassion.

Social anxiety will ruin your life if you can’t get over it. But I believe you can fix it. The power is in you.

Baby steps.


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Are you looking for ways to beat your social anxiety? The best way to overcome your social anxiety is by putting yourself out there more. Your greatness starts outside of  your comfort zone.

Have you ever thought about giving acting a try?

 EQUAL CAST is a recruiting media agency currently looking for people with acting skills. You can register online on their website if you are looking for ways to make extra cash or if you want to pursue an acting career. No degree or experience required.

 

 

18 thoughts on “How Social Anxiety Affects Your Decisions

  1. Your posts of quotes are always uplifting to some who has lived with manic depression for over 25 years. You do manage to make me smile. It’s a hard thing to do but at least you have that magic to do it now and then for me. Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your time. Was it the mustache or the hairy chin? 😛

      I was neighbor with a guy who was MD, once. Awesome guy, 36 and handsome looking. He was adopted and he identified as bisexual. He was diagnosed with MD at the age of 18, when one day he just lost it. He went totally dark. He told me that he believes that the fact he wasn’t able to deal with his adoption drove him sick. And it seems that most mental illness stand from unresolved childhood traumas. Something always triggers. For all that I know, people with traumatic experiences do have more chance to go through some form of mental distress, which is very understandable.

      I don’t know about you and what drove you sick. I’m truly sorry for the struggle you’re dealing with. The best friend of my ex was also diagnosed with MD… But at first they diagnosed her with chronic depression only to modify it few months later… I don’t know much about anything origins to be fair. However, I do hope that one day, what we call mental illness is just our social/psychological misunderstanding and rejection of the emotional human process.

      You’ve probably heard it all… Things like “just pick yourself up” or “get over it”, so i’m not going to say anything like this to you. However, I believe we were all born with the capability of transforming ourselves through the stories we tell ourselves. I think we all have the ability to be alchemists 🙂

      Have a wonderful day!

      Infinite peace and wisdom!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Alchemy…. yes that would be good to be able to once again utilize the wisdom of it to help reform oneself eh? Yup heard all the one liners about it either from the people speaking out of their generations or their armchair psychology from others who know not what they are talking about. A lot of it comes from growing up, I was bullied to the brink of insanity in school for my looks, knowledge or whatever it was. Older it was bullied at places I worked at for what I liked, listened to, watched etc and to this day I refuse to go to the music store I worked at for 5 years because I know what certain employees would say who worked there when I did so I go to other shoppes even if they are a bit more expensive, it’s nice to have your musical style and taste remain unknown relatively. I fight this MD every day, from the moment I wake up to the minute I fall asleep, its ominous black cloud never leaves me. It’s the source of my defeatist approach that I don’t wish to venture down but once you open your mouth to it it just doesn’t stop. Your desire for things drops off the face of the earth, you become very anhedonic and feel nothing on anything. You eat, see, do everything merely through the motions like the actor on tv. There’s no joy in what you do as if you know that you are only visiting the planet for a short period of time so don’t get attached to anything or anyone. That’s a lot of the feeling. You don’t love, hate, care, please or pleasure anything because it has no recourse of joy to you in return. It’s one of those things where I really wish I could have someone walk a day or a week, a few hours in my shoes and feel how and what I do if you can call it that but like I said your messages have cracked the odd smile upon my face. But Thank you, not for what you put on here but just for you.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you for saying what you’ve said about me. But you know, this blog is mainly my medicine to get through life..! I don’t see myself as a guru nor an expert. I never thought anyone would actually get it. But I have now realized what WordPress truly is. And I think it’s beautiful.

        Concerning your feelings, far from the idea to take away anything from you, but I think a lot of people feel the way you do without necessarily be MD. The higher the intelligence or consciousness, stronger the feeling of emptiness and nothingness. I think technology, especially Internet has a lot to do with the growth of disconnection. It’s ironic. We are so connected but yet deeply disconnected. And as Time goes, the more advanced technology will become, the more automaton-looking we will become as a whole species.

        What you’ve been through really sucks. But I think the goal of enlightenment is also realizing that we don’t know nothing about nothing things like: our human origins; what is consciousness? What caused the big bang? What was before the big bang and before that? What is reality? Does truth exist or it all only perception? Most philosophers and scientists go crazy spending their life trying to find equations and answers to impossible questions. They all feel like you at some point.

        Me too I have my share of impossible existential questions… But I find there is beauty in not knowing. I think it’s when we know everything that we stop wondering and being curious.

        It’s important to keep in mind the subject of life and death is something nobody truly knows the answers to. Are we living to die? Or are we dying to live? Can we prove that we are truly self-aware?

        {…}

        You said you fight MD everyday. But why? If it’s part of you, wouldn’t be easier to just accept it and let it become one with you? You know, there are tons of places in India solely devoted to rats because they believe rats are divine creatures. You can look for yourself on Internet “India rats temples”, They live in billions. People go there, they feed the rats and some even let the rats feed off their mouth. Some part of the world live in material “poverty” but I believe they are richer than those who say so, because they just let people live out their identity. They do not try to label anything. Where I was born, sorcery and voodoo were a common practice and still it is today. Nobody thinks of them as “sick” nor crazy, they’re just who they are – gypsies – and that’s it…

        I don’t know you at your core but I know how the western mentality limits the self to express itself. It’s not my place to give you any advice nor suggestion; but whatever you believe is part of you, is part of you… For example, one cannot really get rid of their natural pigmentation, one must learn to accept it and make the best out of it…

        You know what I mean?

        It’s the fight that makes everything overwhelming.

        Ouff… I hope I wasn’t too dark. To finish on a positive note…

        What kind of music do you like anyway? I’m intrigued 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Your blog is medicinal in many ways to many people. But enough of the darkness stuff for now eh? Music I like? Well my blog is full of bands I like, I’m the Progressive Rock listener. Pink Floyd, Alan Parsons Project, King Crimson, Gentle Giant, Porcupine Tree etc. It’s something I know a lot about so why not put that knowledge to good use eh? Be nice to work at some place where I can make a living doing that but that’s another story lol. Thank You and again… For You being You here. Cheers

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Socially, I think far too much emphasis is stressed on physical appearance, which gives most of us anxiety, which, as you say, in turn limits us. So few people actually fit those preconceived notions of “beauty.” And the truth is that there is so much more to us than the physical.

    I think this was an excellent piece! You have illustrated how we can rise above, and love and approve ourselves.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I can relate to not wanting to go to the grocery store because you don’t want to stand out. I’m glad you’re being positive and moving forward with life.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I really get you in this post. I too suffer from social anxiety and depression and it has been a journey but loving yourself and focusing on yourself and not what others think of you is the only way to go. We are who we are and we must march on and try to get better.

    Liked by 1 person

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