The main reason why we often judge others is that we are unaware of the effects that apposing external judgement does to our own selves. We often judge people from a detached and divided place (them versus me). We are not conscious that as we judge others, we are also deeply and harshly judging ourselves. We create insecurities within ourselves.
Now bare with me.
For instance when we judge others on their weight, whether we perceive them as being too skinny or way too overweight, without realizing it, we are subconsciously creating major insecurities around our own weight, even if we think we are fit. We become very self-aware of our own physical image.
Another quick example, when we judge others on their financial state, whether we perceive them as being wealthy or poor, again, without realizing it, we subconsciously create insecurities around our own financial state.
In the act of judging others, we often limit our own potential. If you think that someone is way too rich, you limit the amount of money you could be making. If you think someone is too selfish, you restrain yourself from saying no when you truly want to say no… etc. I’m sure you can find many other examples (skin color, sexual orientation, lifestyle choices, certain personality traits, musical and fashion taste… etc.)
But why do we judge others in the first place? Easy, right? Because we spend an incredible amount of time judging ourselves. If you think you are too fat or too skinny, well, subconsciously you create an idealistic weight-type that you and others should fall into to be considered “normal”. If you think you are too poor or wealthy, again, you unconsciously create an ideal.
In the midst of creating ideals, we imprison ourselves and others by apposing limits to our potential. All of that stems from our beliefs on how we should be.
In order to free others from judgment, we must free ourselves first. It starts with replacing self-limiting beliefs like “I’m too fat”, “I’m too pale”, “I’m too dark”, “I’m too shy”, “I’m too old”, “I’m too young”, “I’m too poor… ” with self-empowering beliefs like “I understand I will never be perfect”, “I’m an ever growing work in progress and so are others”, “I’m doing the best I can with the tools I have and so are others”, “I’m changing/learning new things everyday and so are others”, “I only know what I know right now and so do others…”
We can’t compare our stories with one another. Your story is very different from mine and my story is very different from yours. And even if two stories appear to be very similar, the way we react is very different. The way we deal with the same situation is very different.
The choices we all make stem from deep subconscious programs most people are not even aware.
Bottom line… Stop being hard on yourself so that you can stop being hard on others. Stop putting yourself in a box so that you can stop putting others in a box. There should be no box. We are way too complex individuals. Our potential is infinite. Separation is an illusion.
I wish infinite love, health, healing, wealth, success, happiness, awareness, peace and wisdom upon your soul