As human beings we often categorize things as being right or wrong which ultimately creates separation and division.
A quick research on the web reveals that being self-righteous is characterized by a certainty, especially an unfounded one, that one is totally correct or morally superior.
Coming from that point of view, I think it’s fair to say, we all suffer from the self-righteous syndrome from time to time. We think we are better than the next or previous one because of xyz.
Self-righteousness destroys a lot of relationships and families. If someone is right someone else has to be wrong. It’s usually when we are afraid or hurt that we become self-righteous. During those moments, we often forget that we’re all here doing what we can with the tools we have. Some people have more or less tools to deal with their emotions and fulfill their needs properly.
Self-righteousness is also at the foundation of religious, racial, sexual, social and political wars.
What is right or wrong anyway?
Well to me, any conscious choice that physically/emotionally endangers or puts someones well-being at risk is morally wrong.
Inflicting any type of physical or emotional pain on a voluntary basis is not okay. If you know someone is getting hurt, but you choose to act despite of that knowing, something is not right.
This post is not a lesson of morality or ethic. Or maybe it is. I don’t know. I’ve been self-righteous many times in the past. I felt like I was perfect. I thought the world owe me something. It never occurred to me that my attitude was separating me from truly getting in touch with the core of me thereby preventing me from connecting with others on a deeper level as well. I was living on the surface refusing to really take a deep look inside myself. I thought I was so open minded but in reality, I was not so much.
With a lot of introspection, I understand that self-righteousness stands from denial and rejection of the self. We often feel superior to people we feel we have nothing in common with, without realizing by doing so, we are belittling very specific parts of ourselves.
Let’s say for example that a man thinks that males should not wear pink or act feminine and that any man who chooses to do so is somehow inferior. In his self-righteousness, he’s not realizing that he’s restraining himself from exploring a whole spectrum of human emotions. He’s denying specific parts of himself.
I’m sure you can come up with many other examples like that. The importance here is not so much the different case studies but that you understand what I’m trying to say.
Self-righteousness stems from deep insecurity. It is a defense mechanism that finds roots in ego land.
Our ego is designed to protect us and assure our survival. In order to do that, the ego must be right at all cost to avoid being vulnerable. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to protect oneself, especially when the threat is real like a saber-toothed tiger or someone threatening us physically/emotionally.
But those are extreme cases. In most circumstances, the threats are not real. The only reason why it feels so real is because it requires us to question parts of who we are. And frankly, a lot of people are not about or even closed to be ready to do that. Some because they think they don’t have to (self-righteous individuals), others because they are afraid of the unknown. We are scared of being judged. We want to be perfect. We want people to see us only under a specific light.
Well look. Here’s the thing. Being self-righteous highly limits our human potential and prevents others as well as our own self to connect with the core of who we are.
The trick is to just let go of idealism and embrace your own uniqueness. Stop trying to label yourself and fit where you don’t. Give yourself the right to be original and imperfect.
Infinite love, health, healing, wealth, success, happiness, awareness, peace and wisdom your way